MCA #2 | Late Wednesday Morning

[long_memory]

It had been a strange morning for Silver. Nothing had really happened but he was plagued with thoughts he normally had no trouble ignoring. Little did he know, he couldn't even lie to himself today. It was terrible.

Which would explain why he was putting some vodka in his coffee this morning.

[Opeeeeeen]

Comments

[long_memory]

"Never claimed to be healthy," Silver said, taking a sip of his much improved coffee. "How do you deal with this?"

[thatwaslucky]

"I usually just say what I'm thinking anyway," Rey shrugged.

[long_memory]

"Well that's not helpful." Also he would never do that.

[thatwaslucky]

"It's plenty helpful," Rey told him. "I can't think of anything you don't know about me and I'm fine."

[long_memory]

"You weren't a pirate," he pointed out.

[thatwaslucky]

"Is it that bad?" Rey asked, and then quickly added, "Not that I actually want to know."

[long_memory]

"Yes, it's that bad," he assured her. "You wouldn't look at me the same if you knew."

[thatwaslucky]

"I might," she said, but look how she wasn't saying she definitely would.

[long_memory]

Silver held out his hands as if to say 'see? see?'. His point exactly.

[thatwaslucky]

"I might!" she said again. "I know a lot of people who have done horrible things."

[long_memory]

"Yeah, but they probably regret it," he pointed out. Had he meant to point that out? Nope. But he did it anyway.

[thatwaslucky]

"That is why I don't really want to know," she admitted. Again, he'd said things like that before, but it was easier to ignore when you weren't putting context to it.

[long_memory]

"I figured," Silver said. "Which is why this is awful. Maybe I should hide away all day."

[thatwaslucky]

"I don't want you to hide," Rey said, and added, "I don't want you to think I'd love you any less if I knew anything. I just kind of mentally prepare myself for it to be a lot if I did."

That she actually wanted to say.

[long_memory]

"I'm not risking it," he said.

[thatwaslucky]

"I guess it's nice to know I'm important enough for that," she told him.

[long_memory]

He gave her a small smile. "You are definitely that important."

[thatwaslucky]

"It's nice to hear," she said with a small smile back. "Even if it's still strange that anyone thinks of me that way at all."

[long_memory]

"Would you want to get used to it?" Silver asked.

[thatwaslucky]

"Yes. It would be better than thinking people are making a mistake with me all the time," she said with a wince.

[long_memory]

"I don't think that's anything you need to worry about," he assured her. He would have pressed more about why she felt that way, but he wanted to give her the same privacy he requested for himself.

[thatwaslucky]

"That's easy for you to say, you're one of the only people I don't worry about that with." So at least he had that.

[long_memory]

"Oh." Well that was good to know, at least. "You're right, I don't think I can help with other people, unfortunately."

[thatwaslucky]

"No. So instead I just worry about disappointing everyone," she said. "How did we get on this?"

[long_memory]

"I've been asking myself the same thing all day," he said with a sigh.

[thatwaslucky]

"How do we not do this?" Rey asked with a sigh.

[long_memory]

"I'm telling you, I'm considering taking a vow of silence," he said. "Monks do it, I'm sure I could too."

[thatwaslucky]

"I would still want to talk to you, though," Rey pointed out.

The perils of liking your boyfriend as a person.

[long_memory]

"How long does this usually last?" He would totally be willing to not talk for twenty-four hours or less.

[thatwaslucky]

"Probably the day," she guessed.

[long_memory]

"Oh we can definitely be quiet for the day," Silver said with a wave of his hand. "Or just simple yes or no questions."

[thatwaslucky]

"You think it would be that easy?"

She was absolutely going to have to spend a lot of time training today, she was pretty sure.

[long_memory]

"Considering the alternative I think I could make it work." Look, he really wasn't into sharing.

[thatwaslucky]

Rey sighed a little, walking over so she could give him a kiss. "I love you. And I don't want to make you talk about anything you don't want to talk about."

Which was apparently everything?

[long_memory]

Almost everything, yup. Such was his life.

"I love you too." It was actually really nice hearing that today, since it couldn't be anything but the truth. "Thank you."

[thatwaslucky]

"So I can make a few escapes today," she said, "maybe we get to bed somewhere in there. All things with minimal words."

And it wasn't like she wanted to avoid him all day, or be avoided.

[long_memory]

He laughed. "Yes, I think we would be able to manage that with minimal speaking."

Noises didn't count.

[thatwaslucky]

"We'll get through this," she told him with a smile. See, the optimism was real.